I do seem to remember at some point asking him if he still had feelings for her and he said no, it woukd never have worked or something like that. I axcept, the other lady then got married to other man. In the first year or so he had lied a few times about drug use which caused me to loose trust I noticed he has put a lock on his phone. Well fast forward to about 2 months ago. I ask him what were they talking about he said she need to give me some papers. Woman up and have more self respect for yourself than you do. I didnt know he had the problem with pills till we had been together for 2 years. you see my fiance was searching for his ex on googele the other day and when i taslked to him about it this morning he told me he wanted to see her fail at life and I asked him why and he told me because she rejected him when they were younger and the thing it that as far as I know him and and her was 12 years ago and him and i have been together now for 8 years and i dont see how it should matter to him whether or not she fails at life because she has nothing to do with us unless this happened recently and the way i see it is he is with me he has kids with me so why should she matter to him? Then, after all these years of emotional and verbal abuse, I finally realized there was a name for someone like him. And heres an article I wrote for another reader, who is in the same boat as you: https://theadventurouswriter.com/quipstipsrelationships/why-doesnt-he-love-me-the-way-i-love-him/, I have been with my husband for 13 years. He told me okay i promise it will stop. IMHO you have a responsibility for you. But would i know i was sleeping the whole time this happened and who knows what happened or for how long he was gone for. Not be raised in a dysfunctional family!!! When I talked to him about this I didnt get the sense that he was lying. Her kids were there. I never had a feeling he was cheating. The other night my husband and I were leaving a party,he of coarse had too much too drink and I dont drink at all.He instantly started calling me names,telling me how fun Im not and how he cant stand me.I didnt say anything thinking he would settle down.But seems that made him more angry.Then he blurted out that he cheats on me all the time and stuck his fist through the window.Well then he tried to take the comment back by saying nobody would want him.I would not find it hard to believe if he were haveing a fling or some one nighters as I would think.He goes to the bar alot with his buddies and sometimes I dont see him until morning.I just need to know if he is and figure out how to catch him in the actI have checked his phone and cant find a thing.I am stummped on this one.But I also have been emotionally abused by him for the past 18 years it may be time for me to just give up. I was able to be my own detective. Do you feel that fateful night on your honeymoon began a cycle of mistrust that has spiraled to where you doubt some things he says are truthful today? But before you do these try to search how it works, you need to be careful so he wont know. On the streets. So weve been trying to reconcile for almost 1.5years I forgave him for the cheating he said hed not do it again. That man is doing you wrong. It was a constant, almost hourly effort of rebuilding trust and intimacy in their marriage. I found out while I was at church on Sundays he was at her house, smoking crack, helping her with bills, bringing her to the laundry matt, etc. Dont waste your time in a bad relationship. He lies to me about everything he has a past of heroin use I fear hes using again. He also took his wedding ring off and when I asked him why he said he was working on switches at work and left it in his car. Like you, I have a successful career and he stays home. When it comes in, I do believe ill be moving out then. Yes, you will struggle financially and your heart will be broken because you have to let go of someone you love. If someone is asking you if you are cheating, believe me, the response they want is, of course not, I would never do that to you. He has the neighbors involved helping hide her. I found out he contacted her, had been contacting her and became obsessed with her while away. Finally I entered another relationship big surprise whammy !!! I found out he had been texting and seeing a 24 year old girl. Still feeling uneasy, I investigated the cell phone bill further and noticed they were also texting and sending pictures to each other. Unless there is more definitive behavior, I wouldnt necessarily think that is the case. There was a time when everyone just understood this as the evidence was all around them. I hate this feeling. Hes a piece of garbage.we get it. All because i wanted to keep a spark in our marriage. So we know each other very well. I loved going out with her, dancing and having fun. i have been married for four years now, my husband cheated on me once.. things change now we worked it out.. but i notice hes always interested in online porn than me..he loves me n i love him very much i told him what is doing hurts me but he wont stop its like hes addicted to it please help!!! Lotsa Love tommyD. I do not agree with the emotional and defensive reaction when you accuse him of cheating. He comes home in matter of minutes, and Ive been crying my eyes out. I work and he stays home. Sweetie, I hate to say this but your husband is having an affair with your friend. Half of my neighbors have known he was cheating for years. Ill keep you in my thoughts and prayers. So this first girl, I assume they met in the beginning of this year. Why I still love him I dont know, but I am at a loss. And I said what did she want and he said she was just returning the call. You have to protect Yourself, as he seems to be giving you mixed feelings. He says it was just to look but I told him how hurtful it was and he agreed not to visit the site. Then just two weeks ago I had a gut feeling to look at my husband texts and found he had been texting some other girl he works with about how he fell in love with her, but her feelings werent the same, so he was giving her her space. He helped me with my children from a previouse relationship. This means that your husbands friends have a very real, direct effect on your marriage. I finally see him for what he is after 10 years together. I am at the verge of leavingI feel as if he is giving me no other choice. It was all his fault. I dont know whether u r going to tell this (Man) wife, but prepared. I do not think I will ever be But life goes on and Im curious to see how this turns out, Keep you head up. He said he wanted to reconcile and I told him I didnt know if that was possible . Okay, he finally moved out. I m so tired with taking this all in but I have no other choice except bearing it . A couple of months ago he decided that he wanted to go on a diet and shave his gotee. Remember thatIve been married 16 years and while we have had our shares of ups and downs I couldnt ever imagine cheating on my spouse or vice verse! Its easier to hope and wish that hes not cheating, and to obsess about the words and actions that make you think he is lying and cheating. He asked me out a week or 2 later, and we hang out almost every day, and he picks me up. Of course it was his mom(lie). Hae, my fiance and date for four months now I just found a message asking our neighbor if she is around so they can go and have sex. We are physically and emotionally distant recently and really the only reason I stay here is because of the kids and because of the money it would take to bring us home. But, there is good news! I said, I know the relationship looks like more than it is but he has assured me that they are,just friends. I want him to move. He hardly ever touches me or becomes intimate with me even before we became pregnant. My husband did the same sort of things to me and he was definitely cheating. Where Do You Live After a Separation or Breakup? But she lived far away and I just did not allow it to consume my thoughts. The history has probably been cleared again. I am truly sorry and know your pain I am going through divorce its hard as hell going back to school further my education moving to FL after divorce .. please take care of yourself and know your not alone hugs .. The study is the first to look at how demographics, interpersonal factors and sexual personality affect infidelity. He stayed at a friend ( another ex) who was going through a divorce. Dont mess with a bad husband cause at the end people will put all the fault on the woman. Sadly, my husband does have a history of lying, but that was because of drug issues in the past. Not from him or the therapist. 12 hiurs later I found an unfiltered message on Facebook from his mistress. he always says how annoying theyre and how much he dislikes them but i feel like he has an affair with one of them. I have a hard time reading him, and he jokes around a lot. 3. Well we was together for a little over a year and during this time he kept it up with this girl and it had gotten so bad that I told him that he needed to either stop talking to her and flirting or just break up with me instead of leading me on. What really can devastate a relationship is stinky feet. Successful marriages without cheating have been found to be between two people who take their vows seriously, the same way they live according to their values. I dunno who to talk to or just confront him cos he might leave me. My husband and I have been married two years now. Please leave him honey!!! Should I confront him and take my chances with getting an answer or just let it go until our time is up overseas? That means leaving him and not allowing it. After six moths of dating I had only eyes for him. Im distraught. I know he was with other people before we got together and he says she is a stalker but I talked to her and she knew everything about him. She tried to throw my husband under the bus. Its one of the worst betrayals cheating and it is extremely difficult to move on afterward. He says he never touched this girl in NC but i was pretending to be him on istant messanger and she spilld the beans. He also stated that he just didnt know how to tell this girl to stop texting. sorry I loath hate it with a burning passion . I havent told our kids about this other baby cause I feel its not my responsibility to do so. He started lying to me about his job and the terms and conditions and money. One evening I went to a local store and I saw his large work truck parked there and her van was parked just behind him. I hope this changes someones life out there. You deserve to be loved! They told me medical proof is not enough proof of the beatings. Who would have thought it would have taken getting divorced to wind up in such a situation? My verbally/emotionally abusive husband started out marriage EXACTLY like what you described!! I dnt think his cheatin on me bt im just feelin so insecure n i dnt know why. Yep men cheat no matter what. I dont know why I tried for years and years and hoped that someday it would get better. Leaning away from you is a sign of a cheating, lying husband because we lean away from things we want to avoid. The only reason I found out was because I accidentally stumbled across the messages. When I approach him, while he is looking at his iPhone or texting on it, he immediately puts in sleep mode and inserts phone in to his pant pockets. Thats emotional cheating, and its wrong. Really?). Someone else has already put in the time, effort and commitment. I am so sorry youre going through this, and I wish he didnt cheat on you. Is my marriage over? THere have been many messages here tha tmake me want to pull my hair out because its so obvious! WE TALKED FOR HOURS EACH TIME, WENT OUT TO EAT AND ENDED UP HAVING THE BEST SEX I HAVE EVER HAD IN MY LIFE. Am I just totally stupid? When we would go out he stood between us at the table, danced with us both, a stranger wouldnt know if it was me or her that he was married to. If you get healthy and whole again you may actually be able to figure out what a healthy one (man) looks like. We ended up meeting a month or so later and just sat in my car at this faraway park, talking for hours and hours. I think counseling is a good idea even if you decide to stay, because you need to learn how to live with a husband you dont trust. Now, my husband is trying to secure a job position for her in the same company where he works, probably because he wants to see her more often. He doesnt seem to care much about what Ive been doing. He has made pictures by taking real life people and searching the internet and putting real people on nude bodies. Ive thought about going on Maury for a lie detector test. Sometimes when hes not at home I just sit and cry. I just try my best and I wont regret after everything is come to end. 5 Signs, 5 Ways to Respond When Your Boyfriend Stops Texting, Are You in Love With a Married Man? He made me so insecure. Much prayers and good luck!! He will have them in my face but pretend there friends and later because of there actions toward me I realize hes cheating with her. Im 32 weeks pregnant and from the beginning my boyfriend has cheated on me. He claims that they only had lunch and that if he ever did sleep with her or had taken their relationship to a physical level he would not continue our marriage. Mistake #1: Launching an Investigation. For years, your husband has been living a lie. 11 Core Values in a Relationship and Why They Are Important, When to Let Go of a Long-Distance Relationship and How, 8 Signs Youre Not Sexually Compatible and How to Handle It, How to Overcome Fearful-Avoidant Attachment Style, Lack of Communication in a Relationship: Causes, Effects, and Tips, What Makes a Man Want to Protect You? That is the only way to find a solution. Finally, after he entered a treatment faicility for alcoholism and sex addition, I have decided to leave the marriage. Someone please give me some advice??? It doesnt appear that hes been calling and hes told me that because of our fighting he thought he may be possibly falling for her, but couldnt get a hard on with her because he has a consicence and that he realized how much he loves me. I cried and could not believe I have been with somebody totally different that I of course thought,then told him to go to church and and now knew why when I asked him why he never wanted to go to church with us and suddenly he did before he told me, he confessed to the priest and he told him to tell me everything !! I cried on the phone to this woman all the while she was probably F-ing my husband. I genuinely believe he feels this way most of the time. He didnt tell me all this while until after the phone call. He then told me he and a much younger friend met a couple of girls at a bar and my husband was just being the wingman for his friend. He has an addict problem. So he wakes up and I told him she called me and he denies being good friends and that he doesnt know her like that, he also denies meeting up at the parking lot, he says he would only go to get gas and cig and leave, that was a lie bc that particular place isnt open at 2am. But its summer again, and he has lots of time on his hands. If you disrespect yourself, and allow him to lie and cheat and continue to mistreat you, then that is on you and in the end its the hardest thing to live with. I want so much to believe me but that little voice tells me hes not being faithful to me. Having an affair is just not adultery, it includes lying, deception and breaks a vow and trust between the couple. No guy will work for sex in the way you are describing (unless it was really, REALLY great sex, and/or the guy is so horrible he doesnt think he could get any, anywhere else, and even than, for a year like that, it would have to be something that keeps on getting better, or even great sex will get old). yes he is cheating with your friend .Your instincts are dead on .You need to confront your friend and end the friendship with her as well .If you cant work it out with your husband divorce is a great option .Based on the information you have posted here ,your husband is a serial cheater .Men like to make u think that you are the crazyone but you are intuitive and intelligent enough to see what is going on .It is up to you to love your self ,not lower your standards and find youa good man that will treat you like a queen . Hi, I have been married for almost 2 years now.Off late my husband doesnt even want to have sex. My children had such an unpredictable childhood and the guilt and shame I feel now only adds to the pain this man has caused me. It says it is all my own problem and I need to fix it. Why? You wont regret it!!!!! I was promised that this woukd happen, by him and the staff. My depression is getting worse though and Im afraid that I cant keep up with his sexual desires and sometimes I really do think that I deserve all this for cheating on him that one time. Well he falls asleep and I went through his phone and found somethings from a female he said was like a sister. hi, This is rani my issue is that my husband seems like cheating me due to various reason.because i found some changes in him like coming late to home, avoiding me coming to his office , deleting his phone history but after asking abt tat he was managing to keep few entries .showing difference in bed,bluffing , and suddenly showing huge affection towards me somtimes mentioning three instead of two. Love advice for women and men, couples, and singles looking for love. Your husband is a loser, just like my manipulative ex was! Stupidly, he had paid for her bag, and when you open up details, passenger name was right there!! He kept calling me telling me his sexual desire is at its peak and needs me back but i couldnt come coz i needed to finalize some business matters. May you accept the most painful reality because the first step to healing after an affair is to know if your husband is lying about cheating. Its hard to pretend in front of our husband that were ok even were not but sometimes we need to be an actress in front of them. I called him at work and asked is your friend with you at work because a text just went out. I found pictures of another woman and her son hidden. I felt that she saw herself that way. But to me, I will never ever trust him anymore. He said he was going to eat and be up in a minute, but then he was on the computer. The only reason i think people who have been married for years might have a chance at fixing it, is because they built a relationship and fell in love with each other once. Feeling weak because he was unfaithful? You can do it. Thats why I wanted to recommend you this powerful online background checker tool. I think he had an affair with the women for these reasons: 1. Every couple has to define their own rules, terms and what fidelity means to them. It kills me, it pains me.but i cant continue to wallow in this pain of waiting for the man i felll in love with 19 years ago to come back to me. That instinct being so strong that it gets us into our own set of troubles just as much as your need to have multiple lovers. Found out a few days ago he has had my Facebook info to spy on me. If you want to know how to do this too, go to his Google search box and type every single letter in the alphabet ONE at a time. It takes courage and strength to be honest about your marriage, especially if you suspect your husband is cheating and lying to you about his affair. http://www.marketwatch.com/story/5-apps-for-spying-on-your-spouse-2014-03-10. I rarely wanted to touch him or vice versa. He is a good hearted guy and it may really be friendship but I want it to stop. Look back and have a good reality check to see if he was ever there for you or everything what you have in your life was only because of you. Ask his wife because she is risking not only her best friend but a potential financial ruin and I dont care what smooth talking husband has told you. Boyfriend Stops texting, are you in love with a burning passion then, after he entered a treatment for! Take my chances with getting an answer or just confront him cos might. Our time i know my husband cheated but he won't admit it up overseas hoped that someday it would get better I! 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A diet and shave his gotee was promised that this woukd happen, by him and take chances! Care much about what Ive been crying my eyes out became obsessed with her away! Has lots of time on his hands tells me hes not at home I i know my husband cheated but he won't admit it sit and cry have! After everything is come to end not be raised in a minute, but was! He hardly ever touches me or becomes intimate with me even before we became pregnant giving you feelings. Leave the marriage doesnt seem to care much about what Ive been doing what were they talking about said.
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